It's fairly depressing to think I'm gonna lose my hair before I've even conned a poor woman into marrying me. It's sad to think I may have to start worrying about scalpburn during the summer. And it's a little bit of a bum out to think that pretty soon I won't be able to whip my hair around in my face while headbanging. So, to combat that, I've tried to come up with a list of reasons why losing my hair won't be so very bad.
- I can compensate for the lack of cranial hair by growing a truly bitchin' viking beard.
- I can beat nature to the punch by shaving my head, and apparently the ladies really dig the shave-headed look.
- Being bald will put a huge-ass dent in my shampoo expenses.
- Decreased drag coefficient.
- Professor X is bald and that guy controls peoples' minds. I won't be able to do that. I just wanna be included in the same group with Xavier.
- Two words: Yul Brynner
- Two more words: Telly Savalas
- Two more words: Bruce Willis
- Two more words: Jason Statham
- No more losing my combs to the monster who lives in my clothes dryer.
- I can get a tattoo on my skull and folks will actually be able to see it.
- Maybe I can even get a tattoo of a skull on my skull. That would be bad ass.
- I could get a job as a bouncer. Most of those dudes ain't got no hair, right?
- Steam rising off your head when it gets cold is pretty cool-looking.
- No more bed head. Ever.
I'm sure there are other advantages to being bald, I'm just spacing on them right now. Anyway, I'm just writing this because I spent all day writing for NaNoWriMo and now I'm really loopy. I'll go get some rest and be back when there's more on my mind than hair.