New Megadeth!! \m/ \m/

Megadeth has a new album due soon, and here's a little taste.  It's called "Kingmaker" and, yes, it doth rock to a majestic degree!!

R.I.P. Ray Harryhausen

Ray Harryhausen.  That's a name you probably know even if it's just because it's the name of Monstropolis's swankiest restaurant in Monsters, Inc.  But there's more to it.

I was saddened to read about the passing of stop-motion animation legend Ray Harryhausen yesterday.  Harryhausen flicks have long been a go-to source for awesomely cheesy fantasy entertainment.  But even when his stuff was cheesy, it was still bad-ass.

I could sit here and site all the directors and special effects guys who have named Harryhausen as an influence or sung praise for his work over the years, but that's not very interesting to me.  Besides, you all have Google and the interwebs, and if you're really interested, you can look all that sh*t up yourself.  I'd  rather jabber on a bit about my Harryhausen experience.

It all started with a movie he didn't even work on, Sam Raimi's Army of Darkness.  The third act features a big-ass throwdown between a troop of medieval knights led by Bruce "Yes, That is My Real Chin" Campbell and an army of the dead.  Most of the dead soldiers were skeletonized and wore a scowl across their brow.  I didn't know it yet, but I was seeing one of the biggest homages to Ray Harryhausen I'd ever see.

I loved Army of Darkness, so I begged my movie Sherpa (he who had shown me Army in the first place) to show me more stuff like it.  Most of the time, we watched violent, gory horror flicks, like Phantasm, but every once in a while, he'd show me something old-school, from the 50's or 60's.  And he always talked about Ray Harryhausen.  When I went off to college, I remembered all the stuff my movie Sherpa had said about Harryhausen, and sought out a few of his movies.  The more I watched, the more in love I fell.  Harryhausen's characters always seemed to move in a quirky way, like there was something wrong with them.  And that made them interesting to me.  Today's movies monsters all move to fast and fluidly, they all kind of blur together after a while.  That never happened with Harryhausen.

If I had to pick a favorite Harryhausen flick, I'd go with Earth vs. the Flying Saucers.  Not only is it totally up my alley as far as my love for cheesy sci-fi stuff, but the flying saucers in the movie were FANTASTIC.  The way Harryhausen animated the ships made them feel less like ships and more like characters.  They had personality, way more personality than any of the human performers.  Harryhausen's work, combined with the efforts of the sound effects guys, turned those spaceships into some of the most memorable spaceships of all time.

When I went to Comic-Con a while back, I actually got the opportunity to meet Ray Harryhausen.  He was sitting there at the Gentle Giant booth, with no line whatsoever.  Seriously, there were way more folks lined up to get their picture snapped with some random hot chick decked out the Cobra's Baroness.  Yeah, she was hot, but this dude was a cinematic legend.  We booked over to meet Harryhausen, and he was super nice to us.  He signed a couple of post cards, cracked a couple of jokes, and that was it.  As we left, I felt sad that he didn't have a bigger line, 'cuz he sure deserved the recognition.

Ultimately, that's not the image I have in my head when I think of Ray Harryhausen.  I see the saucers from EVTFS, the sword-wielding skeleton attack pack from Jason and the Argonauts, or the title attraction from The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.  His work not only influenced a generation of film makers whose movies I grew up with, but it impacted me, helping me to dream and inspiring me to put those dreams down on paper.  If I ever go anywhere with my writing, I'll definitely owe a huge debt of gratitude to Ray Harryhausen.

Don't Piss Off Martin Scorsese

To those of you I've already told this "story" or whatever to, I apologize and please feel free not to continue reading.  I just felt like I needed to get this down somewhere before I completely lost my memory of it.  So... Here goes...

Dreams can be very odd.  I find that the less sense they make, the more memorable they are.  I also find it interesting the details that I wind up remembering.  With all that in mind, I have to tell about this dream I had back around Oscar Night.  It was an all-timer.

It was an Oscar night, seemingly like any other.  Actresses flitted about in gown that appeared to be made outta wrapping paper.  Actors milled about looking like they were just getting in from a March of the Penguins cosplay conference.  All of Hollywood sat in their seats with baited breath, awaiting the announcement of the winner of the Best Documentary Feature.  Yeah, that ain't very realistic, but it was my dream.  Anyway, the nominees were announced, and then my name was called for my work on an space documentary called "God's is a Pyromaniac, Just Like Me".  The flick involved how elements that are essential for us to exist are formed in supernova explosions.  And it won.  How about that?

It rose to my feet, buttoned my jacket, and stepped up to the stage to accept my Oscar.  Sitting there in the too-bright lights, I felt like I had something I really, really needed to say.  So I said it.  The jidst was that I thought the Academy Awards were a big crock of crap.  I bellowed about how they never honor the truly cutting-edge work.  I screeched about how the whole Oscar process in run by old people who don't care about anything other than honor old-school Hollywood tradition and awarding period pieces where British people sit around in rooms full of Victorian era decor bitching at each other.  I let them have it, and I felt justified, righteous even, in doing so.

The crowed murmured and booed.  I stood tall, chest puffed out, full of pride I had gotten that off my chest. Martin Scorsese stood and approached the stage.  This is a dude I have a ton of respect for, and I love many of his movies.  He approached me, put his arm around me and then kneed me right in the junk.  I bellowed in pain and toppled to the floor, which caused Mr. Scorsese to pick his cane up over his head and start smacking me repeatedly.  "You know how long it took me to win one of these little bastards", he roared.  "Don't you dare disrespect Oscar, you punk!!"

Now, I know what you're thinking.  You got your ass kicked by Scorsese?  Look at him, man.  He looks like your grandpa.  How the Hell you gonna get beat down by a grandpa?  Well, he's older than me, so I assume he knows more dirty tricks.  On top of that, he grew up in a hard neighborhood, so he's been in fights.  I grew up eight miles from the middle of nowhere, which means I didn't fight anybody.  But mostly, I think he was filled with Oscar rage.  The dude should've won an Oscar for Goodfellas.  By the time he finally won his Oscar, he deserved it more than anybody.  Certainly, his worst film is better than James Cameron's worst film.  Why would anybody disrespect him?  I wish I knew, especially considering the headache I woke up with after he gave me a dream-time ass-whoopin'.

Do We Need New Firefly?

Bombing around on the web there are certain things you're going to see.  You're going to see Doctor Who stuff.  You're going to see "funny" pictures of cats.  (Okay, some of them are pretty funny.)  And you're bound to see memes calling for the return of Firefly.  You probably know the deal.  Joss Whedon created this space western series about nine folks floating around in space aboard a ship that resembled a bug.  It was a great quirky show, but it never really garnered enough viewership to stick around.  It was cancelled before it could even get through one season.

Over the years, the show became a cult sensation.  The series and a subsequent movie did really well on DVD, and people keep floating the idea that someone should make new episodes.  I'm honestly not that keen on that idea, for a couple reasons.  First off, how do you get everybody back together?  Whedon is busy with Avengers stuff for at least the next few years.  Nathan Fillion is busy with Castle.  Without those two, you don't have Firefly.  Without Fillion, it would be a bit like that season of Dukes of Hazzard where Bo and Luke got replaced by their cousins.  Ugh.  Who the Hell wants to watch that?  I'm sure the other cast memebers are busy with other things, as well.  I guess they don't need Book and Wash (sad face), but I wouldn't be interested watching Firefly without the remaining crew members.

Another thing that makes me think new Firefly episodes aren't a good idea is that it's been a long time.  Serenity was seven years ago.  Long layoffs aren't a very good thing when it comes creative endeavors.  Don't believe me, go watch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull or Blues Brothers 2000.  I know it hasn't been that long since Firefly went off the air, but it could be by the time they get new episodes off the ground.  As time passes, it just becomes to easy to lose the plot.  That leads to a decrease in quality.  I'd rather not see any new Firefly than bad Firefly.

The last thing I wanna touch on, is the fact that Firefly was cancelled so quickly.  The fact the show got chopped so fast actually makes it more special.  It left fans wanting more.  That's so much better than when shows overstay their welcome and disappoint fans by becoming a shell of their former selves.  That never happened with Firefly, which might be why people are so bummed it didn't last.  But, what if it had gone five or six seasons?  Would the creative team have been able to keep the quality up?  What if they let the show jump the shark?  One of the great things about Firefly is that we never had to find out.

Who knows if they'll be able to capture what made Firefly so great if they decide to make new episodes.  It seems obvious now, but I'm sure finding the right tone was very tricky, and Whedon and the others involved aren't the same people they were back when they made Firefly.  They may not be able to get back to that place of creativity they were at when they made the show.  Of course, the only way to find out is if they make new episodes.  If they do, I really hope they can recapture that old Firefly magic.  That's the only way making new episodes could ever be worth the effort.  

Happy and Warm

I woke up this morning with a heavy load on my mind.  Last was pretty heavy and I wanted to rant and rave a bit.  A step outside indicated it was pretty much the perfect kind of day for it: cold, breezy, and overcast.  I was hungry so I went to find some food, dug a yogurt out of the fridge, and settled on the front room couch to collect my thoughts.

I started eating my yogurt and heard the heater kick on, forcing warm air through a vent under a table.  At that moment, an image from an old memory flashed through my mind.  I was about six years old, shivering in my old bedroom on a cold winter day.  I grabbed a blanket and spread it over the heating vent in my room.  The warm air blew out and turned the blanket into bubble.  I got underneath the blanket and curled up, warm, happy, and safe.

After a few seconds I snapped back to reality and suddenly, all I wanted to feel was that old warm, safe feeling.  I pushed the table out of the way, found an old fitted sheet to place over the vent, and made myself a warm, safe little bubble.  I grabbed a pillow and climbed under the sheet.  I immediately had that same feeling from my childhood.  I felt warm, safe, and happy.  I even got a visit from Licorice, the big fat black cat.

Sitting there, I realized how stupid it was for me to get so worked up over things I have no control over.  Politics, gun control, all that jazz; nothing I do will impact the way these issues unfold whatsoever.  I don't think I'm alone in this.  Nothing any gun nut or gun control supporter does will influence the outcome.  Nothing any one liberal or conservative will change anything one iota.  So, why the hell do we get so worked up over all this crap?  It's so much simpler to just worry about yourself.

Also, never estimate the simple joy of huddling under a blanket on top on a heat vent.

The Greatest Movies I've Ever Seen - Repo Man

Friends can give you many gifts.  For example, I was friends with a guy for years, and he hipped to a lot of awesome things, like punk rock and lots lots of weird little movies.  One of those movies was Repo Man, a bizarre, punk rock-infused comedy starring a very young Emilio Estevez.  And even though my friendship with my old buddy is dead and gone, I still love this movie.

The story of Repo Man, such as it is, relates the tale of Otto (Estevez), a young punk who loses his grocery store gig and winds up repossessing cars.  Otto's tutor in the ways of repossessing is an older guy named Bud (Harry Dean Stanton).  Budd teaches Otto the Repo Code, a sort of Magna Carta that instructs repo men on how to conduct themselves.  Otto also gets to hang around with Lite, Oly, and Miller, the guys who work at the yard with Bud.  He learns a little something different from each of them.

Otto also crosses paths with a number of no-goodnicks.  The Rodriguez Brothers get no end of delight from messing with Bud.  Otto's "friends" Duke, Debbi, and Archie embark on a life as a criminal team.  Then there's the odd government types Otto keeps having to deal with.  All of them are chasing after the same thing: an old Chevy Malibu that's worth $20,000 because of what's in the trunk.

Repo Man is a very quirky movie.  Characters talk in odd voices or manifest odd character ticks.  Sometimes, it almost feel like your watching an animated movie.  One character, Miller, seems to put into the story to show that the only folks out there that really get what's going on in the world are the whackadooddles.  His soliloquy about plates of shrimp, time machines, and riding the bus is a highlight of the movie, a perfect moment of pure inspired looneyness.

This movie is super quotable.  That doesn't necessarily it's well-written.  It mean that characters are constantly saying bizarre, inappropriate, often hilarious dialogue.  The rent-a-cop character, Pletchner, gets off an all-time classic about how long he's been killing people.  Otto gives the best response to an inquiry about the status of his relationship possibly ever.  The actors seem to having fun spewing all this nonsense and acting like ass hats, and that makes the movie fun to watch.

Repo Man was directed by Alex Cox, who also directed the ultra-depressing Sid and Nancy.  Even though Repo Man is obviously a low-budget flick, Cox gives the movie plenty of visual flash.  A lot of his images are simple, but just off-center enough to be interesting.  Consider what happens whenever anyone opens the trunk of the much-pursued Malibu.  It's a simple image, even a bit cheesy, but I bet you'll find it popping into your head whenever you pop the trunk on your car.

Repo Man is weird, cheesy, and completely hilarious.  It made me want to tell stories full of bizarre humor, and that sticks with me to this day.  Unfortunately, I haven't come up with anything as odd as what transpires in Repo Man, but, dammit, I'll keep trying.  If you have't seen this movie, you should check it out.  It's full of violence, bad language, and punk rock, but if it doesn't make you laugh once or twice, your sense of humor may be busted.

A Fistful of Metal... and Other Stuff, Too

It's shaping up to be a killer summer for loud, heavy, scary music.  Just check out this partial list of stuff that's coming in just the next two months:

Gama Bomb - Terror Tapes (5/7)
She & Him - Vol. III (5/7) (Not metal, but is Zooey Deschanel, so that makes up for it.)
Death Ray Vision - Get Lost or Get Dead (5/14)
Dillinger Escape Plan - One of Us is a Killer (5/14)
Airbourne - Black Dog Barking (5/21)
Anvil - Hope in Hell (5/28)
Dark Tranquillity - Construct (5/28)
TesseracT - Altered State (5/28)
Megadeth - Super Collider (6/4)
Children of Bodom - Halo of Blood (6/11)
Black Sabbath - 13 (6/11)
Valient Thorr - Our Own Masters (6/18)
Amon Amarth - Deciever of the Gods (6/25)

Holy bad-ass boatload of metal, Batman.  Personally, I'm particularly excited for Megadeth, Bodom, and Amon Amarth.  Best thing is, that's just half the summer!!  \m/ HORNS!! \m/