Revisiting: Bruce Willis's The Return of Bruno

 

The Return of Bruno by Bruce Willis

Release Year: 1989

Last Time I Listened to It: So long ago, I'd forgotten that I own a copy. But now that I'm spinning it, the associated memories are rushing back.

The reason I have this album is rooted in questing after Star Wars toys with my homie, Erik.

In those days, we would drive all over Idaho looking for action figures we needed for our respective collections. I mean, we'd load into the car, crank up The Bloodhound Gang, Rammstein or The Ramones and drive for hours, hoping to find treasure troves of loot we never found in our local stores around Idaho Falls.

The quest for Star Wars stuff led us to drive to the Hailey/Sun Valley area, thinking nobody in their right mind would drive that far out of their way to Star Wars toys. But we would because we quite clearly weren't in our right minds. 

Anyway, we stopped to check out Shorty's Diner, an eatery connected to Bruce Willis and in the window of the restaurant was a flyer advertising a show by Bruce Willis and the Accelerators. We had just missed it by a couple of days. And though I knew Willis sang (I'd seen him sing on those Seagram's Golden Wine Coolers ads and that movie Hudson Hawk), the idea of actually hearing and seeing John McClane singing still captured my imagination, to the point where when I saw a copy of Return of Bruno in a CD store not long after our Sun Valley excursion, I had no choice but to pick it up. 

And I enjoyed it. I remember being particularly fond of "Young Blood" and "Jackpot (Bruno's Bop). But how does it hold up all these years later?

I gotta be honest. This really isn't my jam anymore.

First things first, Return of Bruno is a collection of R&B covers fronted by Willis. I still haven't figured out if this Bruno character is a full-blown alter ego for Bruce, kinda how Chris Gaines was for Garth Brooks, or if this is just a vanity project. Probably a bit of both.

Whatever was going on in Willis's head when he was recording this, the end result is a mixed blessing. Willis isn't a great singer. His voice lacks the punch needed to pull off what he needs to do as the frontman of an R&B outfit. That's said, he can carry a tune and occasionally, when the song matches his strengths as a singer, it actually works pretty well. For an example of this, check out "Under the Boardwalk."

Willis is also able to inject a sense of wit and fun into the material and that saves tracks like "Coming Right Up" and "Young Blood." As long as it sounds like he's not taking himself too seriously and having fun with the songs, Bruno is pretty strong.

Unfortunately, not every song on Bruno gets that treatment. Respect Yourself is saved by the fat-sounding horns and backing vocals in the chorus, but it lacks the charm of some of the other tracks. Down in Hollywood is way too repetitive and overstays its welcome. And the only thing the songs that come after Jackpot are good for is background noise.

One thing that's clear is that I'm not nearly the Bruce Willis fan I used to be. Back around the time that he was doing The Fifth Element and stuff like that, the dude was one of my heroes. I totally would have brought Bruno and gushed about it for no other reason than I dug anything Willis did. I'm not that way anymore.

The Verdict: The Return of Bruno is solid, occasionally pretty good R&B that is a fun listen when Willis isn't taking himself too seriously. But at least half of these tracks don't leave much of an impression.

Best Songs: Coming Right Up, Young Blood, Under the Boardwalk, Jackpot (Bruno's Bop)