Flying Flags

 

Flags, man.

Flags are a way to represent large groups of people, from entire nations to fans of sports teams. They're a reflection of an individual's identity, something that indicates a person's tie to their home country, their sexuality and other things that they consider part of their identity. 

So illustrative of a person's identity are flags, that the expression "fly your flag" has become another way to say "you do you, unashamedly." Wear what you want to wear. Do what you want to do with your hair. Listen to whatever music you want to. Fuck it. Get naked and smear EZ Cheez all over your body while twerking to old Ice-T records, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone. You know. Fly👏 Your👏Flag!

Unfortunately, I live in an area where blending with the rest of the overly homogenous population is seen as a virtue. Squelch who you are to make everyone else comfortable. And it only looks to be getting worse. Reading the tea leaves in the wake of the fucking clown car known as the Supreme Court's overturning of Roe v. Wade and knowing how the Religious Right is foaming at the mouth to get everyone who's not white, Christian, conservative and male under their heel, I worry that this is only the start. 

How long before they come after people who don't worship the same God they do? How long before they come after those who don't buy into the ideology they claim gives them authority and entitles them to decide who deserves to be respected as a living breathing human being? How long before those fucking right-wing jerk-offs come after me?

Is it even safe for me to fly my flag?

I spent a vast chunk of my life hiding so much of who I am. If you've known me for a long time, you know how fucking goofy and odd I am and you may not agree with that statement. But I can promise you, you've probably never seen me at 100% myself. 

A big part of it is certainly being raised Mormon. The boundaries of what Mormon society finds to be acceptable are so narrow and it's so extremely easy to walk out-of-bounds, ofter without meaning to. I am slowly accepting that I was a shit-disturber and a line-stepper growing up and that a lot of the damage I sustained was self-inflicted. But when you grow up in an environment that tells you that normal experiences kids have growing up are condemnation-worthy, you'd be surprised how easy it is to arrive at the conclusion that the answer is to steer into the skid. Embrace what THEY think you are.

As I got older, life just got more restrictive and it became harder and harder to be my true self. Whenever I'd try, I'd wind up alone and heartbroken. It was as if whenever I let a corner or two of my flag slip into view, the people around me would grab my flag and shove of whole fucking thing up my ass in hopes they'd never have to see it again. 

And the less ok I felt about being myself, the even more of a unicorn I became. Do you know how odd it is to be my age and not be married or have a family? Do you know how odd it is to be my age and have nothing more substantive to talk about than movies? Maybe unicorn is the wrong descriptor. Maybe Sasquatch or Loch Ness Monster is more appropriate.

 That brings us to yesterday, setting under a picnic shelter at the local Renaissance Faire, interviewing someone for a piece I'm writing (or supposed to be writing, I decided to take today off). The young woman I was talking to is someone who not only lets her flag fly but also uses her social media to, in part, help others fly their own flags. In a sea of shiny, happy Mormon pod people, she stands out like a thumb that's so sore, it's spurting blood.

As I sat there asking questions, I really came to admire my story subject. This is someone who truly doesn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. She's like the ultimate black death metal tee-shirt in an ocean of fuzzy pink sweaters. Not only that, but she is so totally loved by her tribe. And sometimes you REALLY, REALLY, REEEEEEEEEEALLY need to stand out from the crowd to find your tribe.

As I sat there, looking around at the Ren Faire goings-on, I realized that it's in times like these, in a political climate like we're stuck in right now that it's MOST IMPORTANT to fly your flag. It serves as inspiration for others who may be intimidated to be their true selves. It helps like-minded individuals to find one another. And it might not be long before those political and religious shitstains are able to criminalize it. 

So let your flag fly!! Let us see everything that's wonderous and colorful about you!! And to paraphrase AC/DC: For those about to rock, I salute you.