Revisiting: Garth Brooks' Ropin' the Wind

The past few posts here have been kinda heavy and dark, so let's do something fun tonight. Well, fun for you (hopefully) and dead-ass torture for me... 

Ropin' the Wind by Garth Brooks

Release Date: 1991

Last Time I Listened To It: Dear Lord, I haven't even bothered with this one since like high school. 

Ok. Story time. You know that narrative all the rock journalists push about how Nirvana came along and saved rock music from the vapidness and stupidity of glam metal? (By "saved" I mean ruined lots of careers and financially damaged even a lot of good bands just cuz they didn't pout or wear flannel.) Well, I didn't experience that at all. By the time Kurt Cobain came along to be the "voice of Generation X," most of the rocker kids in my school had already kicked butt rock to the curb in favor of country music. Garth Brooks was a god in a ten-gallon hat, Wranglers and really ugly shirts. In my neck of the woods, Nirvana didn't kill metal. Garth Vader did.

Ropin' the Wind wasn't Garth's breakout album. He was well-established by the time he tracked this one. I chose this one for a more traumatizing reason. When my younger sister was in like eighth grade, she got a karaoke machine for Christmas. She spent countless hours caterwauling along with New Kids on the Block and other groups she liked. I was subjected to so many off-key (I love my sister dearly but back then, she couldn't sing to save her life) renditions of that Garth Brooks song The River. On quiet nights, I can still hear my sister's voice reverberating off the inside of my skull. Ropin' the Wind impacted me in a way no other album ever has. Thanks for the trauma, Garth. You piece of shit.

The Verdict:  Garth Brooks marked a fork in the road for country music. He brought a rock n' roll energy to his music that made him stand apart from his more traditional contemporaries. I remember seeing a live performance where Garth smashed his guitar. Good God, did that piss me off. Where Jimi Hendrix setting his guitar afire felt spiritual and ritualistic and the Who wrecking their gear came off as an act intended to get in the faces of all the squares, Garth smashing a guitar seemed like a move made to pander to rednecks and get them to be like "GORTH IS SOOOO COOOOOL."

It seemed fucking phony to me and all these years later, Garth still sets me on edge.

Listening to Ropin' the Wind, I was kinda shocked at how many of these songs I still remember. Against the Grain opens the album with a high-energy stomper but it loses me as soon as Garth sings about how folks call him a maverick. Then he says he's been accused of making his own rules. Ok, buddy. You may have brought pop and rock sensibilities to country music in a way nobody had before, but you're hardly a maverick or doing anything edgy. Maybe country fans at the time this was new felt that way but after years of listening to metal, hearing a balding Wrangler-clad dumbass yack about what a rule-breaker he is comes off as trite and silly to me.

Then there's his voice. So nasal and reedy and it makes me want to jam sharpened pencils in my ears. And then I start wondering if that's how he always sounds when he sings or if all the barnyard twang shit is an affectation. Like, does he sound like that when he's singing in the shower? Country music culture seems obsessed with tradition and authenticity but so many country artists come off as phony. Yeah, I know that metal has its own issues with gimmicks, affectations and authenticity but at least bands like Alestorm, Ghost and Babymetal are fun. 

One thing that's changed over the years is that it's easier for me to appreciate the musicianship and performances of the session players. The playing on this record is excellent, even if I don't like the style of music they're playing. The solo sections on Against the Grain are as shredtastic as anything you'd hear on a rock record. So, there. I said something nice.

The main problems I have with Ropin' the Wind are the lyrics and Garth's voice. Country songs always seem like they're trying to be relatable to the working class while at the same time being witty. We Bury the Hatchet tries to capture the mind-breaking effects of a love/hate relationship but is built on a foundation of a silly cliche that's eye-rollingly lame. The ballads, like What She's Doing Now, are so cloying and sappy, they are robbed of any emotional impact they could have with a singer who understands how to deliver lyrics with a little subtlety. 

Elsewhere, Papa Loved Mama has some cool slide guitar work and I'd probably like this song if it wasn't Garth singing it. His cover of Billy Joel's Shameless has a nice melody and the lyrics don't make me want to puke. Still, I remember this song sounding a lot better when my buddy Erik and I used to sing it as "I'M BRAINLESS. AND MY PANTS ARE FULL OF POOH."   

Then there's the elephant in the room. The River is the album's finale and maybe after having been exposed to it so many times, its effects on me have worn off. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like it. The metaphor in the lyrics is lame enough to make me facepalm and feel sorry for the songwriters. But it at least reminds me that I'm pretty fucking lucky that my sister is my sister. That's kinda cool, right?

Full transparency: I've been revisiting country artists and songs I used to like and learning that while I still hate most country music, there are some country acts I genuinely like. I've spent a lot of time with George Strait and I find myself wishing he'd sung the songs on Ropin' the Wind instead of Garth. George Strait doesn't need a phony-sounding accent or a ridiculous amount of twang in his delivery to sound country as fuck. But Garth apparently does and that makes it impossible for me to connect with his music. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go listen to some musicians who paint their faces all sick and act all Satanic. Cuz at least they know that everyone knows they're full of shit.

Best Songs: Against the Grain, Rodeo, Shameless

BTW: these pencils weren't sharpened. No Fatties were physically harmed in the writing of this post. Mentally damage, well, that's a different story.