Dispatches from the Soda War battlefront

 

I drank soda today. Mtn Dew Major Melon to be exact.

235 days ago, I decided to do something to drastically reduce my soda pop intake. I was awash on a sugary, carbonated ocean, inexorably drifting towards my demise. I wash tired of feeling like shit all the time and while a lot of that isn't within my control (I was born with a heart condition which required surgery and many of my issues come out of that), what I put into my body absolutely is. 

So I set out on a mission to cut soda completely out of my diet, knowing full well that I was going to fail, probably multiple times. As of right now, my record is 218 days without soda against 17 days with soda. That's a success rate of 92.7%. Any professional sports coach would kill for that record, but it's my record. Mine, bitches!! ALL MINES!!!

...whoa... excuse me... where did that outburst come from?

218 days without soda is nothing to sneeze at, especially for someone who used to chug down AT LEAST two 20-oz sodas every single day. While it is disappointing that I haven't been able to quit completely, I have actually done what I set out to do. I have drastically cut down my soda pop intake.

C'mon y'all. It's party time.

Spend enough time working on anything, whether it be learning a new skill or trying to cut something out of your life and you gain insight and wisdom. Sometimes, it may be valuable to others for you to share what you've learned. In that spirit, let me drop some knowledge. This stuff isn't particularly profound or insightful but it might be useful for you at some point. If nothing else you may get a chuckle outta reading this and thinking "How the fuck does this dumbass think this shit is revelatory?!"

First off, I've realized that anything, even things we may think are insignificant, can become a crutch for us if we aren't careful. Not that crutches are necessarily bad. Everyone needs someone or something to help us bear our burdens from time to time. But be careful, because the line between acceptable reliance and overreliance is razor-fucking-thin.

For example, I never considered how much I leaned on soda to pick me up when I was down until just recently. I even managed to miss this revelation during previous attempts to quit. But now I can see just how much used soda to lift me up. I've always said that my struggle to quit pop is nothing compared to the battles with addiction that other people endure. But now I can see that my struggle is not so very different, and for someone with my health issues, just as important.

Secondly, I've come to realize just how much our vices are created to serve the avarice of others. Think about it. Somewhere, on the top floor of some towering, glassy high-rise, seated behind a desk carved from some exotic African tree, there's a fat, stupid, shit-sipping CEO who's only sitting there cuz he's the former CEO's kid or because he screwed over some other fat, stupid, shit-sipping CEO wannabe. Eveytime I buy a Mtn Dew, that fucker's stocks go up by a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a point. 

I'm not saying these CEOs have departments full of Batman-like detectives with supercomputers full of databases about all of our individual wants and cravings. Just that if that is what's going on in the R&D departments of companies like McDonald's or PepsiCo, I wouldn't be surprised. These products that become vices, be they soda or tortilla chips or porn or WHATEVER, are being engineered to exploit our weaknesses and give us just enough of what we want that we have to keep going back for more. They are quite literally killing us for profit. I think about that and wonder if it's too late to escape. Maybe it is, but I gotta try. I'm tired of killing myself while making some entitled prick with six mansions, a hundred-foot yact and 35 Bently Continentals richer. Even if it's just fractionally richer.

Thirdly, this shit is EVERYWHERE. Soda pop is prominently displayed in stores and soda ads are in regular rotation on TV and streaming outlets and all over the web. Hell, even if you stop buying soda, there's a good chance other people in your house hold are still drinking it and bringing it into your home. The enemy is everywhere.

That being the case, your mission isn't to completely avoid the enemy. That's damn near impossible. Your mission is to throw up blockades that stop your enemy from advancing. That requires finding new crutches for those times when you're at your wits end or feel particularly vulnerable. Perhaps you have a friend you can text when you feel endangered. Maybe you can find something that replaces that crutch, a healthier substitute that provides some of the benefits that soda used to give you. Be careful not to sever your unhealthy relationship with pop only to become just as overdependent on its replacement. But you can find a way out.

Finally, realize that this takes time and learn to find contentment in progress. The first time I slipped up and drank soda after deciding to stop, I felt like complete fucking trash. I had made it without drinking pop for 55 days and I felt like all my progress had just been obliterated. Poof!! Just like that. What I've come to realize is that cutting any crutch you overrely on out of your life takes time, sometimes a lot a time. Progress shouldn't be measured by quitting completely but by how big a decrease there is in your soda intake. 

Like I said before, I've gone from drinking two (and sometimes three and sometime four and sometimes more) 20-oz sodas everyday for the vast majority of my adult life. To go from that to drinking one 20-oz pop every 3-4 weeks is actually a huge step in the right direction. I know there's still a ways to go. I do want to stop drinking soda completely and I also want to cut deeply into my fast food and junk food intake. But every journey begins with a first step. If I can avoid getting too disappointed in myself and just keep making baby steps, I'll get where I'm going eventually. Enjoying the journey, marveling at the landmarks as they go by, is all part of the ride.