Fatty's Vault of Shame, Pt. 2

Well, it's been too long since we've cracked open the old Vault of shame, so let's pop the top, dig around a bit and see what we come up with.

Wait? Nelson? Oh yeah. I remember now. Nelson...

It was easy to fixate on Nelson's superficial trappings. The twin heartthrob lead singers. All that blond hair. This seemed less like a band than a marketing scheme to separate horny teenage girls from their allowances.

OK, their songs may have had a riff or two. Lead guitarist Brett Garsed doled out some extremely tasty leads. And drummer Bobby Rock, a veteran of the Vinnie Vincent Invasion, provided a rock-solid percussive foundation. But the sound these guys produced was not the kind of sound any self-respecting thrash fan would ever want emanating from his or her speakers. Think of the embarrassment that might accompany being caught listening do dudes that look and sound THIS PRETTY.

Yet, in spite of the potential embarrassment, I had a copy of Nelson's first record, After the Rain, in my music collection for years. Why? It wasn't like it was ever a staple of my musical rotation. Why keep a copy on hand?

After racking my brain for a couple hours, I came up with two reasons:

REASON #1: Nelson was one of the few bands I could get away with listening to around girls. I knew plenty of females who had crushes on the Nelson Brothers back in the day. I get it. I like imagining the Zooey Deschanel or Kobra Paige is singing to me. It's a bit of daydreaming to imagine an attractive member of the opposite sex of singing sweet nothings to me. It's kind of a turn-on and I imagine a lot of women back in the day were fantasizing about Matthew and Gunnar crooning just for them.

And After the Rain was one of the few albums girls would tolerate that didn't make me want to jam railroad spikes in my ears. True, the sound was very lush, full of acoustic guitars and mists of keyboards hanging in the air. And the vocal harmonies! They were everywhere. But the album had enough excellent guitar work and big bashy drums that I could tolerate it.

REASON #2: Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, After the Rain sounds TERRIFIC. I mean, it's not like the Nelson Brothers were bereft of talent. Both those dudes could really sing. They also wrote really catchy songs. "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection" WILL infect your brain and YOU will find yourself singing it to yourself in days to come. "More Than Ever," "I Can Hardly Wait," and "(It's Just) Desire" have the kind of sing-along choruses that are so catchy, they get you, your mom, and everyone else you know to raise their voices in accord. "Only Time Will Tell" is maybe the greatest power ballad nobody remembers.

Along with penning good tunes, Matthew and Gunnar put together a band of talented musicians. Along with Rock and Garsed, keyboardist Paul Mirkovich and multi-instrumentalist Joey Cathcart join forces to provide a sound that rocks but isn't too ferocious. This is the poppiest of pop metal, and though sometimes there's a little too much padding obscuring the work the musicians are putting down, the quality of the songwriting and the Nelsons' singing always shines through.

You know, revisiting After the Rain, I'm having a little bit of trouble feeling any shame for enjoying this record. It's fun. It's a good workout for the vocal cords, singing along with this. I genuinely enjoy the title track and "Bits and Pieces," along with the previously mentioned tracks. Yeah, I know it ain't metal to wail "Will you love me like you loved me yesterday" whilst blaring poppy guitar tunes from your car stereo. It may cost me my metal cred, but fuck it. This is too much fun, and I'm too old to worry about what judgemental metalheads might think.