Shit I Watched on Netflix, Ep. 2

Bright

What is this shit?

Bright is a gritty cop tale set in a world human share with orcs, fairies, and other fantasy creatures. Think something along the lines of Training Day crossed with Lord of the Rings.

What's This Shit All About?

A human cop named Ward (Will Smith) and his partner Jakoby (Joel Edgerton), the first Orc cop in history, are having a really bad night. Ward's fellow officers want him to get Jakoby out of the picture by any means necessary. Then the two cops stumble across a young elf with a wand and get dragged into a web of violence as a multitude of interested parties attempt to wipe them out and take the wand for themselves.

The Good Shit!

Ok, it has to be said right off the bat that this is a fucking fantastic idea for a film. The idea of a world full of a multitude of fantasy creatures interacting with humans in a modern-day setting? Outstanding! The opportunities for deeply engrossing mythology and epic stories are endless. So many fascinating directions a story like this can go in. 

And using fantasy in a modern setting to comment on race relations in the U.S. is pretty damn clever. It provides a chance to talk about racism without offending anyone because characters in the movie are racist against characters that aren't human.  

Also, Jakoby is an interesting, multi-dimensional character. As his arc unspools, he's revealed to be a thoughtful, caring being, easily the most decent and most human entity in the entire movie. 

Finally, the five seconds or so of death metal Jakoby plays before Ward whines "No Orcish music" made me smile.

The Bad Shit!

Let's start with the lazy worldbuilding. It's as if the writer, Max Landis, was too lazy to actually sketch out what would happen if there were really fantasy creatures living in our world. History seems to have continued exactly as it has in the real world, with the only difference being that there are orcs and shit here now. How would having fantasy creatures on earth affect the development of religion? Would pop culture different? Would Shreck still be a thing if it offends Orcs? Landis seems not to have considered this, or maybe he didn't care. That's lazy writing and worldbuilding.

Then there's the actual plot of the movie, which really doesn't go anywhere for, like, the entire second act of the film. Instead of story, we get a seemingly endless procession of pointless gunfights. One thing I learned in my screenwriting classes that I'll never forget is that you have to stop the story to have an action scene. The story just kinda sits around waiting for the action to end so it can move on. That's why overly long battle scenes don't work: they kill the story's momentum. And Bright goes nowhere for like 45 minutes. Yawn.

If that wasn't enough, Jakoby is the only character in Bright that works. Ward is played as this broken-down pathetic mess, but apart from the shit he gets for having an orc partner, there's not really a reason for him to be this way. His home life seems to be fine, apart from the fact that his wife and kid are shit-scared he'll end up dead. He doesn't have it that bad, so his character doesn't really work. The rest of the characters in the flick come off as cardboard cutouts the movie needs to move the plot. They don't have any dynamics of dimensions. 

Lastly, "Fairie lives don't matter today" may be the single lamest line of dialogue my ears have ever heard. That's right. Anakin Skywalker's "I don't like sand" rant from Attack of the Clones is off the hook.

Wrap This Shit Up!

Bright is one of those movies that critics seem to despise but normal movie fans enjoy. I can honestly see both sides of the equation, even if my own reaction falls closer to the critics. It's such a cool concept! Maybe the forthcoming sequel will fix some of the flaws of the original and fill in some of the plot potholes. 

That said, I can't see myself sitting down to watch Bright again unless I am severely chemically altered. Because, regardless of the potential of the premise, I can't recall a movie so full of cool creatures, flying bullets and bloody violence that left me feeling so... bored.