Thrashbrowns v. Mouse House, Round 3

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

The Story:

Disney takes on Victor Hugo's classic tale of the horrifically deformed of the bell ringer of the famed Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. It's a tale that's at turns jovial and depressing. The result is... well calling it a mixed bag is putting it kindly.

Has Thrashbrowns seen it? Why or why not?

I've not seen it. I remember hearing when it first came out that it was dark, depressing and the songs suck. And while I think that description was pretty accurate, it doesn't tell the whole story.

The Good:

First. a few brief things: There are some beautiful visual vistas and some clever shots. The voice work and the singing is pretty good. A few of the puns work and got me to laugh.

But there are two things I really liked about "Hunchback" and both of them are story elements. 

1. The love triangle between Quasimodo, Esmerelda and Phoebus actually was very affecting. I know how painful it is to be into someone, only to watch them choose someone else. Hell, my friendship (or whatever it was) with Girl X was pretty much five years of that experience on repeat. As a hideous fucking C.H.U.D. who has no ability to attract women, that felt absolutely real and completely relatable. That story strand also made me wonder what incels think of this movie...
2. The contrast between two different religious people. One one end, you have the Archdeacon of Notre Dame, who is kindly and accepting and offers the shelter and love of God to all who enter the church. On the other hand, you have Frollo, an evil, hate-filled ass hat who's barely containing his own passion as he condemns others for theirs. Frollo's the kind of shitbag who'd jam a knife in your back then tell you he's doing it for your own good. I've known people religious people who practice what they claim to believe and are generally decent, amazing people. I've also known a lot of religious people (mostly Christians) who have mistreated me under the guise of trying to help. In fact, self-righteous assholes who can't stand "imperfection" and try to "help" is a small part of why I don't go to church anymore. In light of that, I really dug that part of the movie.

The Bad:

There are a lot of little things wrong with this movie that I found distracting, like the fact that the lighting in some scenes is inconsistent from shot to shot. The songs are fairly forgettable, apart from the beautiful God Help the Outcasts and Hellfire, a Satanic black metal tune minus the Satanic black metal.

But the biggest thing that bugged me is how the characters of Esmerelda and Phoebus are set up to be so important to the story, then do almost nothing in the third act. It's especially galling in the case of Esmerelda, who kicks ALL the kickable ass in one early scene, only to be rendered unconscious in the climax. Not only do these characters not do much to deserve to stay in the story, but they steal screen time that would've been better utilized examining what's going on in Quasi's heart and soul.

Also, once I realized the Frollo's character was designed in the shape of a long, skinny penis, I couldn't stop a dick with an over-animated face in every scene he was in.

Oh, and one more thing...

Most Annoying Disney-ism:

The ending.

This movie a dark, damn near pitch black in places. I'm talking pitch black as a mood and not the badass Vin Diesel sci-fi action monster movie. We watch Frollo grapple with his own lust while shrieking about hellfire. That's dark stuff, especially for a family film.

So why in the everloving fuck do we get the normal Disney happy ending? It's so out of step tonally with the rest of the film that it feels like they spliced a deleted end scene from another Disney film onto this one. Not to mention the fact that not too long before the Parisian peasants carry Quasi out on their shoulders like Rudy Ruetigger at the end of Rudy, they're pelting him with produce. The ending really didn't work for me and I think a hopeful ending, where things still suck but there's hope they'll get better, would've been far preferable to the happy ending we got.  

Does Thrashbrowns get why people love this?

Yeah. I can see people who feel like ugly, unlovable monsters would be able to see themselves in Quasi and even revel in his triumph at the end of the film. I can see how having a city full of people instantly come to accept you despite your deformities or abnormalities is wish fulfillment for someone who feels like a hideous C.H.U.D. It doesn't come off as very realistic, but it doesn't have to and I get that.

Did Thrashbrowns like it?

I'm torn. I want to like "Hunchback" more than I actually did. The themes I mentioned earlier are themes that I fully relate to and I feel it was brave for Disney to take them on, especially in a kid's movie. That said, the flaws in this film big enough that I can't ignore them, and distracting enough that they impacted my experience with this film. In the end, however, I have to say that of the three films I've watched for this feature so far, Hunchback is the only one I'd be interested in revisiting. So there's that.

Up next:

We're heading down to Cajun country with The Princess and the Frog. Also, there's a development that will affect this feature that I'm really excited about. Can't wait to drop dime and let y'all know what's up...