Sick Daze

So, Monday when I woke up, I didn't feel very well.  By noon, I was having trouble standing up without losing my balance.  By about 2 p.m., I knew I was in deep doo doo.  I was coming down with the sickness (Damn you, Disturbed).

As a result, I've spent 99.9% of my time since I got home on Monday in bed.  I can describe the experience by appropriating a quote from The Wonder Years: After two hours of TV and steady bed rest, the world always looks a lot better.  After ten hours of TV and steady bed rest, the world always looks a lot worse.  There's only so much Top Gear you can watch before you zone out.  (Or start speaking with a British accent.)

In the effort to keep my mind occupied during my sick time, I've been playing a game with myself.  I've been trying to see how many lucid observations I can make under the influence of cough syrup.  Most the time, my brain has been static or endless fields of colorful tulips.  But here are a few I've managed to latch onto:

• Heating pads were not made to be slept upon.
• There's a certain age that, once reached, it is impossible to fall asleep with death metal playing.  I believe I've reached that age.
• Ted Mosby's a lot less funny after 2 a.m.  I guess Ted's mom was right about nothing good happening after 2 a.m.
• I don't know how sick folk got along before NetFlix.  And being sick without NetFlix just sucks.
• Cough syrup leaves a really warm feeling in your chest after you take it.  But just after you take it.
• I think my favorite performance in any comic book movie I've ever seen may just be J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man movies.  Perfect blustery brilliance!
• It's really hard to translate the sounds you hear in your head into music coming out of your guitar amp.  It's doubly hard when your head feels like it's stuffed with cotton balls.
• Laughter is the best medicine.  Unless you have a nasty hacking cough.
• Sometimes, a long, hot shower is the greatest damn thing in the world.
• Watching scary movies while you're under the weather is a recipe for scary dreams.
• I really wanna see the new Lamb of God documentary As the Palaces Burn.  It covers the issues the band had as a result of Randy Blythe's arrest in the Czech Republic.  It sounds riveting.
• When you can't stand up straight without feeling dizzy, taking a leak is an unpleasant adventure.

I'd write more, but I'm not feeling so hot right now.  Don't worry, though.  A nice, long, hot shower and a couple pins in the hip and I'll be as good as new.